Tag: Draconian Crusade
TRANSCRIPT:
EVERYONE: “Fight! Fight!” “Worm fuckers!” “Shit Stain!” “I’ll DO ye fer dat!”
MERTEAN: Oy! You a’right?
BEDIK: (grinning foolishly) Never better!
MERTEAN: (brandishing a full jug of wine) Lookee wha’ I found rollin’ on de floor! I t’ought she needed someone t’get `er out of harm’s way.
BEDIK: Ohhh … Mertean m’friend, you are one worm-fucker in a million.
MERTEAN: An’ up *yer* arse wi’ a rusty pecker, ye heretic bastard. Les’ fin’ someplace quieter to give dis darlin’ de attention she deserves.
BEDIK: After you!
MERTEAN: A’righ’ … Roun’ T’ree …
BEDIK: Round Three it is.
MERTEAN: You go firs’.
BEDIK: Iiii spy with my little eye … somethin’ beginnin’ with …
THRASAN LOUT: Hey. Bedik!
BEDIK: Yeah? Oh - yeah. I know you - wossname, ah …
MORDIK: Mordik!
BEDIK: Rightrightright - Hey siddown -thiss is my friend, Merte- (burrp!) Mertean!
MERTEAN: G’ardee!
MORDIK: You serious? Drinking with a damn worm-fucker?
MERTEAN: Wha - Who’s dat? You called me a-
BEDIK: Hey! HEY! You can’t say that about him!
MERTEAN: Yeah!
MORDIK: What, are you a worm-fucker, too?
BEDIK: Bastard!
MORDIK: Fuck you!
TRANSCRIPT:
EMANTAD: My name is Emantad, I’m a merchant.
THRASAN: Why do you need to see the king, then?
EMANTAD: My … my caravan was trying to avoid de war, and we went far nort’ and east into de desert.
DRACONIAN: Dat’s dangerous a’right.
EMANTAD: T’was foolish … we got los’ in a sandstorm. We los’ nearly everyt’ing, Wandered into de Desert o’ Deat’.
THRASAN: A wonder you’re still alive. But -
EMANTAD: Dat’s where we saw dem! Soarin’ o’erhead like a flock of gigantic bats, wit’ demon riders!
THRASAN: What? What were they?
EMANTAD: Dragons, as God saves me.
DRACONIAN: Dragons.
EMANTAD: Aye. On’y myself and five o’ my comp’ny lef’, but we all saw dem. Wit’ demon riders, flyin’ west!
THRASAN: I’ll get you to see the king.
EMANTAD: T’ank you!
DRACONIAN: Oy -
THRASAN: Yeah?
DRACONIAN: I’m Mertean.
THRASAN: Bedik.
DRACONIAN PRIEST: It do not change de lives we ha’ lost, de destruction and de treasure cost.
GUDIK: Granted. We can discuss reparations, but now we need a principle to stop fighting each other and …
THERIK: The Church will not pay a copper penny! This -
YANORA: Bishop, I think that you may find that once my son is back on the throne where he belongs, the Church will have enough to do with cleaning itself up. I am speaking of traitors wearing the vestments of Thrasu …
DRACONIAN: Heh. Dat sounds a bit dire fer yer Church.
THRASAN: More than the likes of me need be concerned about. Or the Erogenians, neither. Saying that the Dragons are awake. How did they know? Did they see `em? What did they play riddles with `em or something?
DRACONIAN: Suppos’tly de Erogenian queen says dey saw `em.
THRASAN: Well … Erogenians.
DRACONIAN: De Erogenians be b’barians, aye, but dey’re right in de Book O’ Draco. Dey even gets a place in Second Paradise after de Final Fall. An’ dey never lie.
THRASAN: Well, yeah, I heard that they don’t lie to each other. They can lie to enemies.
DRACONIAN: Oh. Aye, I never t’ought o’ dat … Still. If de Dragons are awake, it means de end of de worl’.
THRASAN: “If.”
DRACONIAN: Aye.
THRASAN: You got a name?
DRACONIAN: `Course. But … I t’ink I won’ tell ye.
THRASAN: Oh.
DRACONIAN: On’y `cause if de Dragons ain’t back, den we got to go back to killin’ each odder. And’ I don’t wanna know yer name nor you know mine.
THRASAN: Oh. Yeah.
DRACONIAN TRAVELLERS: We mus’ see de King!
DRACONIAN: Hoy dere!
THRASAN: Halt! Who goes?
TRANSCRIPT:
THRASAN: Could use a stiff drink. Uh - maybe not you.
DRACONIAN: What?
THRASAN: I , uh … I hear you people don’t drink?
DRACONIAN: Where d’ye get sich buggersense?
THRASAN: What? What did you say?
DRACONIAN: Kin ye clean yer earholes? I said it’s buggersense! We don’ drink? Ha!
THRASAN: So - you do drink.
DRACONIAN: `Course!
THRASAN: Well. So - look, don’t get mad, it’s just what people say -
DRACONIAN: Well?
THRASAN: Well, maybe that bit about how your priests actually drink blood …
DRACONIAN: Buggersense.
THRASAN: Oh, well … sorry.
DRACONIAN: It’s wine, dey just wave de’ hands and bless it. Becomes “Blood O’ De Dragon,” but y’know, it’s like …
THRASAN: Ceremonial.
DRACONIAN: Like dat, yeh.
THRASAN: Mm. Guess that would make more sense, then.
GUDIK: I’m not surrendering! I’ll have you know I was winning! It’s just that this changes everything - for all of us.
YANORA: Nevertheless, we must have your forces at home, else there may be no home to go to.
GUDIK: God, I’ll lose as many just trying to withdraw as taking the whole kingdom. There’s already two Draconian armies on the way to raise this siege. They’ll never let me just walk away ...
IPOLA: They actually may want to join you.
GUDIK: Fat chance of that!
IPOLA: Yet, they may. Because you know something that the Draconian Church would very much like to know, and that may make all the difference in the world to them.
GUDIK: Oh, Really,
IPOLA: Something that fulfills their own prophecies.
GUDIK: And what is that?
IPOLA: Shuach has awakened the Dragons.
GUDIK: (pause) Pull the other one!
GUDIK: … No. I can’t. It’s impossible at this point.
TETHIK: You must!
GUDIK: Tethik, I make a lot of allowances for you, but don’t you dare ever tell me what the king “must” do.
TETHIK: Then don’t listen to me. Listen to your own common sense. I know it’s in there, buried somewhere under your thick-headed arrogance.
TETHIK: If you don’t leave off this folly now, Kivalia and Erogenia may very well fall to the Urtts. A thousand years of history, all we’ve built will be razed by the enemy to make their own hellscape in Shuach’s image. Then what a nice little petty kingdom you will have here in Greymouth to defend against our enemy that’s stronger than ever!
GUDIK: How am I supposed to do it!? You understand I’ve spent the better part of a year making dead corpses and live enemies of these people. You think they’ll let me just walk away?
Shall we just say, “Oh, sorry - this is Greymouth? We thought it was Greenmouth! Our mistake. Have to pop off now. You don’t mind tidying up for us, do you? There’s a good chap!”
YANORA: Really, dear, it’s not the time to try to be witty.
GUDIK: Mother -
YANORA: And fail.
GUDIK: You see? This is why I’d rather be at war than at home.
A LITTLE BIT LATER …
CU on GUDIK, his brows knitting.
GUDIK: So … the Urtts.
TETHIK: Yes.
GUDIK: Maldik.
YANORA: Yes.
GUDIK: Bloody Deeps … I mean I knew he was an ass, but this is an absolute masterpiece of idiocy.
TETHIK: To say the very least.
IPOLA: Will you leave this war now, and come home, my lord?
YANORA: Proceed, darling. I’m going to sit and have a drink, if no one minds.
THERIK: Your Majesty - I must protest! This … this illusion may be some Draconian trick.
GUDIK: Therik.
THERIK: The Church does not approve of this magick, I am sure. Some power may be trying to deceive you ...
GUDIK: Therik.
THERIK: My lord, I must -
GUDIK: And you just did. Well done. Now kindly shut up.
GUDIK: Believe me, no one can counterfeit my mother, not like this. This is her, in all her insufferable glory.
YANORA: Oh, I love you too, sweet boy.
GUDIK: (pours a wine for himself.) All right, Tethik. Let us hear it. And for your sake this had better be absolutely everything you say it is.