24 2035

YANORA: You would already know that if you’d taken the ring I offered you when you left, darling.

GUDIK: I travelled two thousand miles to get away from you, Mother. I wasn’t about to take a trinket along with me that lets you nag me from Normos, criticizing every bloody little mistake I make, driving me insane ...

YANORA: And would it be “nagging” to point out that that was, itself, a mistake that could bring down the whole kingdom?

GUDIK: Oh Thrasu’s arsehole, Mother!

THERIK: Your Majesty!

GUDIK: I’ll confess later.

YANORA: As if anything makes a dent in your brain, anyway. You’re solid as a rock, completely direct and literal. Anything bothers you, you just chop it out of your way.

GUDIK: I suppose you’d have me weave webs and deceits like you, then? If I have an enemy I deal with them in the open!

YANORA: Yes, just like your father. And you have all his other faults, as well.

GUDIK: Oh, so now we’re cataloging faults, are we? Shall we open the Tome-sized book of your faults and start reciting, Mother?


YANORA: I’m sure it would be amusing, but we haven’t the time.

GUDIK: It would take an age to get through, wouldn’t it?

TETHIK: Gudik, your Majesties! If I may, perhaps I could answer Gudik’s quite reasonable question and explain the reason for all this time, effort and use of magick.

IPOLA: Of us all I think you can probably explain it best, my friend.
24 2035

A Boy’s Best Friend … Page 1065

TRANSCRIPT: YANORA: You would already know that if you’d taken the ring I offered you when you left, darling. GUDIK: I travelled two thousand miles to get away from you, Mother.  I wasn’t about to take a trinket along with me that lets you nag me from Normos, criticizing every bloody little mistake I make, driving me insane ... YANORA: And would it be “nagging” to point out that that was, itself, a mistake that could bring down the whole kingdom? GUDIK: Oh Thrasu’s arsehole, Mother! THERIK: Your Majesty! GUDIK: I’ll confess later. YANORA: As if anything makes a dent in your brain, anyway.   You’re solid as a rock, completely direct and literal. Anything bothers you, you just chop it out of your way. GUDIK: I suppose you’d have me weave webs and deceits like you, then?  If I have an enemy I deal with them in the open! YANORA:  Yes, just like your father. And you have all his other faults, as well. GUDIK: Oh, so now we’re cataloging faults, are we?  Shall we open the Tome-sized book of your faults and start reciting, Mother? YANORA: I’m sure it would be amusing, but we haven’t the time. GUDIK: It would take an age to get through, wouldn’t it? TETHIK: Gudik, your Majesties!  If I may, perhaps I could answer Gudik’s quite reasonable question and  explain the reason for all this time, effort and use of magick. IPOLA: Of us all I think you can probably explain it best, my friend.

24 thoughts on “A Boy’s Best Friend … Page 1065

  1. Oh, look at that eye roll.
    And Tethiks reaching out, attempting to be the peacemaker, in panel 3.
    Excellent staging as always.

  2. P.S. Have you looked at the chapter system lately? It looks like it got scrambled in the last rebuild.
    I was trying to hunt down a reference mentioned by someone else, and it took me a lot longer, and a lot more clicks, to find it, because that pull-down is no longer chronological.

    1. Agreed. We’re also missing stuff from the archives. I know the cave sequence jumps from the torch going out to them meeting Keltan.

  3. Also, who are the boobs in this scene? I’m guessing the two blondes, who are loudly airing family laundry in front of friends and strangers both.

    1. Who is a stranger to Yanora and Gudik? Both of them know Tethik and Ipola quite well. Indeed, I’m sure Tethik has been present for many a royal family squabble in his years at Normos. We should all recall how openly vulgar Maldik was towards Zona. He did not hide his hostility at all. As Yanora says about Gudik, his nature is to be quote, “completely direct” (i.e., he speaks his mind and makes his feelings known).

      The only “stranger” here is Bishop Therik. And something tells me that even he is no stranger to royal squabbles. Though, I do find it funny how everyone here seems to be treating him like he’s irrelevant, mostly ignoring him. He’s probably not used to that…

      1. Thann. The “Erogenian” who Yanora and Ipola knew of, (and whom at least one of kept tabs on,) but who was intimate with neither of them. (Obviously, he knew about the dowager queen from a distance.)

      2. Gudik has already proved that he can tell Therik off like a boss. It may well be that for the poor bishop (who presumably has had to deal with Gudik’s obvious frustration since the start of the crusade at the very least), being ignored is a nice change of pace.

    2. I made a comment about the “Boobs” tag earlier (on https://barbarianprincess.com/comic/part-2/connected-page-1051/ ) and JED replied with his usual smooth niceness, quote:

      “I put boobs in any time I think of it, as a way to get more hits. I am all about getting the hits, and given the design of these characters, it’s highly likely there’s gonna be boobs of some kind anyway.”

  4. They really can’t help themselves, can they? Yanora knows the fate of the kingdom and more is at stake, Gudik has to have realised something serious is up, and yet there’s always time to trade insults with family.

    1. Can’t decide if this is a sign of their mutual hatred, or love. Maybe both?

      1. I’m pretty sure Yanora loves Gudik; after all, she has stated that she loves Maldik and Gudik seems more likable.

        As for Gudik, the way he’s smirking in some panels leads me to think he loves his mother. But maybe he can’t stand being around her sharp wit for too long.

  5. Goes to show, you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. ^^

  6. I did not realize that they’re 2000 miles away from Normos! A question comes to mind: How can Gudik march whole armies across such a vast distance in a timely manner? (For comparison, that’s further than the distance from New York, NY to Salt Lake City, UT) By the time Gudik gets back, wouldn’t it be too late?

    On how far a marching army can go on foot, one source, quote “…estimates saying that 10-15 miles (or 16-24 km) in a day was normal. 20-25 miles is pushing it, and marching 30 would exhaust an army.” Another says, “…in Germany during the 1800 the average walking distance per day(!) which was usual and nothing special to talk about was 12 to 15 miles.” (The same person also pointed out that this speed is a bit much for modern armies, with a march with full gear of about 15 miles being considered “killer.”) So, you do the math!

    I wouldn’t count on it, but perhaps there’s a magical portal they could use to get back to Normos faster? Or, instead of Normos, maybe there is a Suach-related target which is much closer to them? Or, will they board ships and sail back?

    1. Probably board ships. Short sea shipping has been a thing for a good while. Also, I don’t know that a heavy full kit is a new thing. Steel armor and weapons certainly weigh a fair bit, but comparing the walking distance of a largely unencumbered adult with one walking under full kit, with a good sized baggage train, is grossly unfair all on its own.

      Besides which, while two thousand miles makes sense, (it is a crusade, possibly as far from Normos as Damascus is from London,) it’s also possible that the two thousand mile figure is hyperbole.

      1. We’ve seen the map. It’s all a land route. And of course you don’t get to go in a straight line. But if you go the usual route (heh) of five days march, one day rest and assume Gudik will push it to 20 to save home, well, it’d be at least 20*6=120 days to get back to Normos. The battlefield is likely closer, though.

      2. “…but comparing the walking distance of a largely unencumbered adult with one walking under full kit, with a good sized baggage train, is grossly unfair all on its own.”

        To clarify: Which do you believe is the largely unencumbered one – the modern army soldier, a soldier of the 1800’s (as mentioned in my post), or a solider of the middle ages?

        The first estimate I quoted in my above post (i.e., “…30 would exhaust an army”) was from a thread on the Civil War Talk forum discussing American Civil War history. Steel armor was made obsolete by the advent of guns – certainly long before 1800. I think 15 miles in full gear might be considered ‘killer’ for modern armies because (a) they must carry a heck of a lot of weight and (b) they likely are not as used to walking many miles on foot, day after day, as armies in the 1800’s or middle ages would.

        On steel armor: There are several different kinds, with different encumbrance and weights. Everything I’ve read suggests that anyone in full plate would have to rely on horseback to travel any real distance. Marching on foot would be nigh impossible.

        Do we know how much of Gudik’s army is wearing steel? Gudik, himself, is wearing what appears to be scale mail. And the guard Baranir, several pages back, was clearly wearing chain mail. Either is heavy, yet much lighter and less cumbersome than full plate. And the patrol of soldiers who stopped Zona and her warriors before crossing the border to engage the U’rrt were all wearing chain mail. Though, I would not be surprised if a small part of Gudik’s troops – such as ballista operators – are wearing some form of leather armor.

        But this train of thought does lead to some interesting questions: How large is Gudik’s army? How much of his army is mounted on horse? How many ships does he have? Would he have his mounted units go by land and have the rest go by ship?

        1. I suspect, but don’t know, that every army in history has probably been loaded down with every resource that would make it statistically more effective, up to the limit of the human frame. I do not know how heavy armor was in history. I have heard an anecdote that challenged the idea that plate armored knights couldn’t have been able to walk in the stuff, or mount their own horse after putting the stuff on, by countering that the modern infantryman is probably carrying more gear on his back and torso than the mounted knights armor weighed.

          I’m saying it’s unfair to compare the encumbered soldier, on foot, on the march, of any era, to any minimally encumbered civilian casually walking between his village and his farm.

          Also, chain is steel. It’s not plate, true. Guns are also steel, and while cartridge ammunition is typically brass and lead, it’s not all that light, either. One of the points of the .223 cartridge over the old 30-06 is its good enough to do the job (of taking an enemy out of the fight, not necessarily killing him,) while freeing the soldier up to carry more of the stuff.

          Of course, the modern soldier is more likely to be carrying his own food, rather than relying upon what he can “forage” from the farms and towns near the battlefield. Conversely, he’s probably a lot less likely to be carrying heavy souvenirs around with him, also “foraged” from the farms and towns near the battlefield.

          Also, while I can see that Gudik is wearing (some) armor, those sleeves don’t look like mail to me. They look like patterned grey cloth. I suspect he’s probably wearing a steel cuirass under that tunic, to go with the gorget that is sitting on top of it. I see the edges of what is probably armor just beyond the line of the tabard. He may well be wearing mail under the sleeves.
          The sleeves are probably part of the gambeson, in which case, he’s probably not wearing any armor over his arms. Not that he needs to, since he’s nobility and all.

        2. “On steel armor: There are several different kinds, with different encumbrance and weights. Everything I’ve read suggests that anyone in full plate would have to rely on horseback to travel any real distance. Marching on foot would be nigh impossible.”

          That is why route marching in full plate was seldom done. The warhorses of most knights were rested while they rode palfreys in simple field kit. An exterior corps screening the main body on march was usually counted on to give warning in time to get on full kit. As to marching distances, …there were ways. European armies were slow, but the Mongols routinely could advance fast enough to surprise European foes by marching 50+ miles a day.

          The Emperor Basil II (976AD-1025AD) once moved a combined arms Army of the Roman Empire of Constantinople from Bulgaria to the headwaters of the Euphrates River in about 3 weeks, and beat his opponent the next week. He did it by mounting the infantry on mules. The straight line distance is about 1,000 miles. In more modern times, Wellington’s Rifle Brigade marched to the Battle of Talavera in a final daylong push of of 50 miles, at the end of which they marched straight into battle and made major contributions to winning that key victory, …and did it without being mounted. Yes, they were an elite. No, they were not armoured, but the mass of wartime kit of most infantry has varied little since roman times, and is still about 40 kilos, especially when wearing the new body armor. “The Mules of Marius” are still burdened!

        3. What about using a historical equivalent to draw conclusions? The tech is similar to the middle ages, if possibly more towards the mid- or late middle ages, so, perhaps some of the campaigns of the Hundred Years’ War?

          One that comes to mind is that Henry V left Harfleur on October 8 and fought the French at Agincourt on October 25. They had to detour via Voyennes to find a ford across the Somme, which a total trip of about 350km – call it 400km since the English had to march to find a crossing. That makes 400km in 18 days, so an average of 22km or 13 miles per day. Which kinda matches some of the estimates above.

          Another thing to remember is that the larger the army, the slower it actually marches, since parts get strung out and lost…its difficult to keep groups together over long distances unless they’re very disciplined (just ask my Scouts…), logistics has to keep up, command has to be kept. But still, unless they’re marching tens of thousands of men, 15-20 miles per day may be doable.

  7. As I recall, Gudik and his troops have been gone since the beginning of the comic when Zona and Mentl first set foot in Normos looking for him. And if I’m still recalling correctly, it’s been a year, maybe longer, since that time, which is plenty of time for a crusading army to travel a couple thousand miles on foot. Unfortunately, if I am right, then this means they are facing a several-months-long march at the very least to get back home, unless they use some kind of shortcut…

    1. After a long march, they can be the relief force. Really, what’s needed right now is to give the Erogenians the permission they need to do what they’re doing, and maybe change the regent over to a saner, less compromised, figure: His mother.

      However, it would make sense to dump most of the kit, especially the tents and provisions, and make best speed back towards Normos, keeping only personal arms and armor and enough food to reach the next resupply point. The rest can be replaced when they’re in friendly territory again.

      Also, it’s entirely possible that the Erogenians, if asked nicely, (or sulkily), could use their magics to expedite the trip. After all, Zona has been to the moon and back.

  8. Is it just me, or does it look like Ipola is trying not to laugh in that last panel?

    Also, this is a lovely lead up to Mother’s Day, JED.

  9. “Oh for the love of–! You! Take the ring and promise to call when you’re in need of some advice or outside council. You! You only call when there’s a state emergency that calls for the immediate return! Now stop sniping at each other; we’ve wasted enough time just getting here!”

  10. Yes, please, Tethik, explain things and let us get to the point before these two spend too much time squabbling.

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