Tag: Draconian Crusade
TETHIK: Well, at least he didn’t kill you, fellow. Dammit! Fool, I should have - (sees a note with the ring on top of it)
“THANN: My Lord Tethik, Sorry to disappoint you, but now that Mommy’s not holding my hand, I decided I didn’t want to wait around for you to try to kill me. Trust me, it wouldn’t have ended well for you, and while I know we’re not friends, I don’t like killing people for free if I can help it. Do yourself a favor and don’t try to find me.
Thann”
TETHIK: Bastard.
TRANSCRIPT:
As they retreat they hear “It’s fine. All fine. It’s just fine …”
GUDIK: I have to say, stopping this war does seem like it was Divine Intervention. Maybe these two are a … portent.
TORIAN: We can hope so. But it will take more dan portents. God obviously means for his Chosen to take part in de comin’ trial. De Final Days, as are foretol’. But our armies leave behin’ much dat is broken in dis great mistake, for such we migh’ jus’ly call it. I have your promise to undo what can be undone, help to rebuil’ what has been broken, and feed and clot’ de maimed and orphaned.
GUDIK: If we all survive, Princip, I will put gold and men in service of doing just that, by God and my crown. I give the responsibility of negotiating and organizing the particulars to my cousin. I think there’s no better hands I could leave it in.
TETHIK: Yes, your Majesty.
GUDIK: Pity you’ll miss all the fighting. It’s going to be a jolly great war!
TETHIK: My sword won’t make that big a difference in the battles you’re facing, cousin. And if you lose - well, we’ll have enough to do here in the East. (sudden thought) Speaking of which, if you’ll excuse me, gentle lords, there is one last personal detail I need to tend to.
TETHIK: (furious) Thrasu’s BALLS!
TRANSCRIPT
TETHIK: Rise up, scion of Holy Georg! Rise up!
BEDIK: Mwah? Oh1 My lord!
TETHIK: Yes. Go clean yourself and become useful. Unless I miss my guess both you and your lover here have duties this morning.
BEDIK: Yes, my lord …
MERTEAN: “Lover?” We ain’t lovers!
BEDIK: It’s all right - it’s - he’s -
MERTEAN: We ain’t! I ain’t like dat!
BEDIK: He knows! He knows.
TETHIK: (grinning) Do I?
MERTEAN: (seeing the Princip) Oh! yer Worship!
TORIAN: On about yer duties, den, Spearman.
MERTEAN: Aye, yer Worship. And just to say again, I ain’t like dat - he … he ain’t my lover.
TORIAN: O’ course.
TRANSCRIPT
TORIAN: Does dis one belong to you?
GUDIK: Yes, and the other one is yours, Princip.
TORIAN: Hmph! Do you t’ink dis bodes well or ill for our new pat’ togedder?
TETHIK: I would say both, Princip. Last night’s little festivities seem to have had the effect of both raising and lowering some of the tensions betwixt our armies. Perhaps they needed to fight - but not to kill.
TORIAN: None deads?
GUDIK: Not on either side. Though I think it’s too soon to have them serve directly together.
TORIAN: Oh I t’ink we have a long road ahead before dat could happen. But killin’ Urtts is always good employment for Draconian or T’rasan soldiers.
TRANSCRIPT:
EVERYONE: “Fight! Fight!” “Worm fuckers!” “Shit Stain!” “I’ll DO ye fer dat!”
MERTEAN: Oy! You a’right?
BEDIK: (grinning foolishly) Never better!
MERTEAN: (brandishing a full jug of wine) Lookee wha’ I found rollin’ on de floor! I t’ought she needed someone t’get `er out of harm’s way.
BEDIK: Ohhh … Mertean m’friend, you are one worm-fucker in a million.
MERTEAN: An’ up *yer* arse wi’ a rusty pecker, ye heretic bastard. Les’ fin’ someplace quieter to give dis darlin’ de attention she deserves.
BEDIK: After you!
MERTEAN: A’righ’ … Roun’ T’ree …
BEDIK: Round Three it is.
MERTEAN: You go firs’.
BEDIK: Iiii spy with my little eye … somethin’ beginnin’ with …
THRASAN LOUT: Hey. Bedik!
BEDIK: Yeah? Oh - yeah. I know you - wossname, ah …
MORDIK: Mordik!
BEDIK: Rightrightright - Hey siddown -thiss is my friend, Merte- (burrp!) Mertean!
MERTEAN: G’ardee!
MORDIK: You serious? Drinking with a damn worm-fucker?
MERTEAN: Wha - Who’s dat? You called me a-
BEDIK: Hey! HEY! You can’t say that about him!
MERTEAN: Yeah!
MORDIK: What, are you a worm-fucker, too?
BEDIK: Bastard!
MORDIK: Fuck you!
TRANSCRIPT:
EMANTAD: My name is Emantad, I’m a merchant.
THRASAN: Why do you need to see the king, then?
EMANTAD: My … my caravan was trying to avoid de war, and we went far nort’ and east into de desert.
DRACONIAN: Dat’s dangerous a’right.
EMANTAD: T’was foolish … we got los’ in a sandstorm. We los’ nearly everyt’ing, Wandered into de Desert o’ Deat’.
THRASAN: A wonder you’re still alive. But -
EMANTAD: Dat’s where we saw dem! Soarin’ o’erhead like a flock of gigantic bats, wit’ demon riders!
THRASAN: What? What were they?
EMANTAD: Dragons, as God saves me.
DRACONIAN: Dragons.
EMANTAD: Aye. On’y myself and five o’ my comp’ny lef’, but we all saw dem. Wit’ demon riders, flyin’ west!
THRASAN: I’ll get you to see the king.
EMANTAD: T’ank you!
DRACONIAN: Oy -
THRASAN: Yeah?
DRACONIAN: I’m Mertean.
THRASAN: Bedik.
DRACONIAN PRIEST: It do not change de lives we ha’ lost, de destruction and de treasure cost.
GUDIK: Granted. We can discuss reparations, but now we need a principle to stop fighting each other and …
THERIK: The Church will not pay a copper penny! This -
YANORA: Bishop, I think that you may find that once my son is back on the throne where he belongs, the Church will have enough to do with cleaning itself up. I am speaking of traitors wearing the vestments of Thrasu …
DRACONIAN: Heh. Dat sounds a bit dire fer yer Church.
THRASAN: More than the likes of me need be concerned about. Or the Erogenians, neither. Saying that the Dragons are awake. How did they know? Did they see `em? What did they play riddles with `em or something?
DRACONIAN: Suppos’tly de Erogenian queen says dey saw `em.
THRASAN: Well … Erogenians.
DRACONIAN: De Erogenians be b’barians, aye, but dey’re right in de Book O’ Draco. Dey even gets a place in Second Paradise after de Final Fall. An’ dey never lie.
THRASAN: Well, yeah, I heard that they don’t lie to each other. They can lie to enemies.
DRACONIAN: Oh. Aye, I never t’ought o’ dat … Still. If de Dragons are awake, it means de end of de worl’.
THRASAN: “If.”
DRACONIAN: Aye.
THRASAN: You got a name?
DRACONIAN: `Course. But … I t’ink I won’ tell ye.
THRASAN: Oh.
DRACONIAN: On’y `cause if de Dragons ain’t back, den we got to go back to killin’ each odder. And’ I don’t wanna know yer name nor you know mine.
THRASAN: Oh. Yeah.
DRACONIAN TRAVELLERS: We mus’ see de King!
DRACONIAN: Hoy dere!
THRASAN: Halt! Who goes?
TRANSCRIPT:
THRASAN: Could use a stiff drink. Uh - maybe not you.
DRACONIAN: What?
THRASAN: I , uh … I hear you people don’t drink?
DRACONIAN: Where d’ye get sich buggersense?
THRASAN: What? What did you say?
DRACONIAN: Kin ye clean yer earholes? I said it’s buggersense! We don’ drink? Ha!
THRASAN: So - you do drink.
DRACONIAN: `Course!
THRASAN: Well. So - look, don’t get mad, it’s just what people say -
DRACONIAN: Well?
THRASAN: Well, maybe that bit about how your priests actually drink blood …
DRACONIAN: Buggersense.
THRASAN: Oh, well … sorry.
DRACONIAN: It’s wine, dey just wave de’ hands and bless it. Becomes “Blood O’ De Dragon,” but y’know, it’s like …
THRASAN: Ceremonial.
DRACONIAN: Like dat, yeh.
THRASAN: Mm. Guess that would make more sense, then.
GUDIK: I’m not surrendering! I’ll have you know I was winning! It’s just that this changes everything - for all of us.
